To Date or Not to Date + Ice Cream

23 July 2011

I need to preface this blog by saying I have a lot to learn in my own life about the topic of relationships.  But God is slowly revealing things to me and I love being able to share the things I’m learning with others! 

In all honestly, I’ve been a little frustrated lately because of all the “couples” around me.  It seems like everyone is in a serious dating relationships… prematurely.   

I wrote a blog about this topic of relationships and included lots of Scripture that backs up the reason I believe we, as Christians, should not rush in to dating relationships before we are ready for marriage commitments.  We need to be loving each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, in safe, group environments, while we are growing and maturing in the ways of the Lord, rather than romantic one-on-one settings all the time.  (See previous blog entry for Scripture references, etc.)

In my opinion, there are too many young people in dating relationships too soon, before they are even remotely close to getting married.  By freshman and sophomore year of college many people I know have already decided who they are going to marry and they have invested everything into that person and held nothing back. 

I think we tend to automatically assume that all relationships between two Christians are good and healthy because both people share the common bond of Christ.  But in truth, I believe as Christians we need to be more careful that we don’t fall into the temptation of impulsively entering into a serious relationship before the time is right!  Dating seems to have morphed into these fake, mini-marriages between two young people who believe they are exemplifying Christ’s love for the church by romantically loving their boyfriend or girlfriend.  No, no, no!  That special love is reserved for marriage alone!  So until that time, we need to watch out that we don’t let our emotions take control and dictate our behavior towards one another, especially those we are interested in. 

My parents have always stressed the importance of “group” activities between guys and girls in order to cultivate friendships in a safe environment rather than a romantic one-on-one setting that can seriously affect your ability to think rationally about the other person and with good judgment.  I completely agree that group settings are the way to go! If you take nothing else away from this blog entry, get that… group activities are the most sensible ways to honor one another as brothers and sisters in Christ before the time is right to pursue dating and marriage!  

I have an analogy to hopefully illustrate this.  It’s a little abstract so bear with me on this one! 

Think about it like this:

It’s not a bad thing to want ice cream right?   Ice cream is wonderful and enjoyable and good!   BUT, if I were to go out and buy a gallon of my favorite ice cream flavor and satisfy my craving by hoarding and devouring the whole thing all by myself, the natural desire for a good thing turns into gluttony.  The very object of my desire would make me sick to my stomach because of a lack of self-control. 

It would be a much better decision to buy a box of ice cream to share with my closest friends so we could fellowship and enjoy the sweet goodness of the treat together.  My desire for ice cream would be appeased and I would enjoy eating just the right amount of it with my friends much more than I would if I gorged my stomach with it by myself.

Here’s the parallel:

It’s nature that we feel attractions towards those of the opposite sex; it’s how God wired us and it is good and right… within the right context.  Having feelings for someone of the opposite sex is not wrong, just like a wish for some sweet ice cream is not wrong in itself.  It is what we do with those desires and emotions that dictate the result.  We must exercise control over our desires and not allow them to lead to sin.  Just like gorging on ice cream to satisfy a craving would quickly turn into gluttony, investing all your emotions into a particular person whom you may be attracted to can quickly turn into inappropriate behavior.  Hoarding that person’s attention and affection is not the right way to deal with the desire to get to know them more.  A more appropriate and right way to handle emotions for a person of the opposite sex would be to enjoy their company in safe, group environments, just like the way ice cream shared with friends is much more enjoyable!   

I don’t know if that made any sense.  If it did, great!  If not, don’t worry about it.  Just remember… group activities!